It was a good day but im not excited about it anymore. Was in the bar for a little while,had a few beers.
He was there,my ex smoochez(whose name i now change to HurtPain!!) I TRIED to avoid him but he was in my way when i was gettin a drink...awkward hug...
I stole a few glances,saw him talking to that girl with the four eyes. Almost like how he used to talk 2 me:-(
Just this tuesday he told me he still loves me n it sucks how i dont talk to him anymore. How now!! After pulling such stupid stunts!!(vibe abt him screwing around)
So...why im upset.
My sis tells me-when we get home- they were making out like crazy in the bar. My bar,wea im always at!! How fucking embarassin is that shit! WTF!!
Funny thing is,she's a major slut! The kind that sleeps with 80yr old white men for money! Yeah,true story! I think i'd even told him this vibe when we were together!!
Honestly,im so shocked! Im uneasy! Im not ok! Im majorly confused!
Why is he being this way?! Its like i fell in love with someone completely different!! That would explain why i never quite completely figured him out...right,coz i do not understand what's goin on wit him.
I keep being told that he's acting up coz of me...that it's his way of dealing wit this shit. REALLY PEOPLE!!?
Why am i still fucked up over this man,i hate myself. I just want2 hate him,block out the entire relationship. Selective amnesia!!!!
U know how u feel pain in ur heart when its broken,im back there again. This shit hurts! FUCK!!
Saddest part,i saw the four eyed girl heading to his house when i was leaving. Ouch. There's only so much i can take:'(:'(:'(
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hurt,shmutt.. a really good guy told me last night that girls always have the chance to find 'that man'. But they are not patient... Scarlet...im so rooting for you to get there. rise sistah...!
ReplyDeleteHow do u suggest i do that?!
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